How to help your toddler with separation anxiety

Separation anxiety in toddlers can be a tricky thing to deal with, especially if you’re a new parent. You want to ensure your child feels safe and secure without you, but that doesn’t mean they don’t miss you when you leave them! Here are some tips for managing separation anxiety in toddlers.

Many toddlers suffer from separation anxiety.

Separation anxiety is a normal part of your toddler's development. It's not just a phase, and it doesn't mean that your child does not love you or is afraid of being abandoned.

When toddlers are born, they need to feel safe and secure because their brains aren't fully developed yet. A child with separation anxiety has trouble separating from caregivers because they feel unsafe without them nearby — even if the caregiver isn't actually in sight!

The best way for parents to help their child overcome separation anxiety is by practicing separation exercises at home so the toddler can become more comfortable with being apart from mommy or daddy for short periods.

Be optimistic about the situation.

Be optimistic about the situation.
Don't try to make them feel bad about it.
Don't make a big deal or act sad about them leaving, too—even if you are! Instead, say something like, "Oh well!" or "I'm going to miss you!" Then, try to change the subject.

Prepare in advance.

Have a plan. Talk to your child about what to expect and how they will feel before they start school. Plan together, if you can, so that they feel included in the process and know it is something they have helped to create.
Find an activity or toy that helps keep your child calm when separated from you at home, such as a blanket or favorite stuffed animal, and bring this along with you on their first day of school.
Keep expectations low for the first few days: Your toddler may be upset for a few days after starting preschool or kindergarten; don't worry about it too much if he cries when dropped off, but try not to rush into taking him all the time if he feels scared or overwhelmed by his new situation!

Play the "Drop-off Game"

The Drop-off Game is a playdate with your toddler, where you pretend to leave. It's a great way to help your child get used to being away from you while assisting them to learn that they're okay when you are gone.

Here's how it works:

Pick an activity that both of you enjoy doing together. The activity should take about 15–20 minutes and requires limited talking on both of your parts—for example, playing with blocks or building something with Legos.
Start playing together as usual— say goodbye and go through the motions of leaving: putting on shoes or putting away toys into their proper places if applicable; walking down hallways towards doors leading outside; opening door(s) leading outside; closing door(s) leading outside; locking door(s); walking back toward the living room where the toddler is sitting waiting patiently.
When you return, hug the toddler and say hello again.

Give your child a sense of control.

Give the child a choice of what to bring along.
Let the child choose what they want to wear.
Let the child take part in packing the bag, if possible.
Let them decide which snack or meal they want for breakfast that day, and help prepare it before you leave.

If you notice that your little one has gotten used to having some independence over certain things like this at home, try giving her more options once she starts feeling anxious about being away from you during everyday activities like going out on errands or getting ready for bedtime at night--maybe let her decide whether she wants Mommy or Daddy by her side first? Or maybe asking if she wants "one story" tonight before bed instead of two would make bedtime seem less scary because then she'd only have one thing left on her mind instead of two!

Create a ritual.

Create a ritual that you can do every time you leave. Even if it's just something small, like giving your child a toy to hold or saying goodbye three times, rituals can help them feel more secure in the face of new situations.

Routines can be helpful for toddlers because they help them understand what's going on and know what will happen next. Establishing routines right away when starting daycare is crucial to provide structure for your child and comfort them during this transition time.

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Conclusion

Following these steps can help your toddler deal with separation anxiety. The best way to do this is by being positive and reassuring, preparing yourself in advance, playing games that involve dropping off toys or dolls and giving your child a sense of control over their emotions. You can also create a ritual around the drop-off process to make it less scary for your little one and maybe even for you.